Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
