I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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