high people should be assigned attendants
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
