Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
