I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
