like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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