help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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