are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
