I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize