We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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