just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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