Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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