bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize