I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
