dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
