i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
