Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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