Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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