Got a toothbrush?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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