So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
