SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
