We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize