I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
