dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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