You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just high enough for therapy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
