I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize