dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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