I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
