It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
