I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
