Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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