Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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