hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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