Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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