just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
