my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm eating all of the evidence.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
should my penis look like a turkey
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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