I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
