Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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