So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am naked and annoyed.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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