Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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