I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
