piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
