just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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