The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
