weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
