My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
