I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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