he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
