He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize