That's intense
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
