that's an acceptable place to lick
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
