My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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