Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
