But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
