No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
