Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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