wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize