You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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