but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
